Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in mrsveteran's InsaneJournal:

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Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
7:36 am	The perfect gift(s) for your little princess! I'm not sure how these things happen, but somehow a bizarre Halloween costume idea combined with the madness of photog42 turned into a sort of parody website called "GlamGuns.com". At times like this, there's not much you can do except sit back and wait for the cease and desist notices to come rolling in, I suppose. On the other hand, if I end up in jail, I'm going to insist on the Glambo Signature Series "Hilton Handcuffs". After all, just because you're being arrested doesn't have to mean you can't feel pretty! Oh, and by the way ... I ♥ Glambo! (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 19th, 2007
8:49 am	I'm SO going to hell for laughing at this version 2.0 "What happened to you?" "I had my finger partially amputated by an Easy-Bake Oven." "Um, you might want to tell them the story about the bar fight instead." "Yeah, I thought so too." --- And, the Quote of the Day: (Overheard in a "Mexican History" class.) "How come they're telling everything from the Mexican point of view? That shit ain't right!" In a Mexican. History. Class. I kid you not. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 9th, 2007
7:22 pm	Never trust a non-profit I think just about everyone I know has received address labels from some charity or other. Dad has. Charlie has. My mom has. In fact, a bizarre combination of Charlie's last name, my first name, and my last name, an even more bizarre combination of names ("Charlestina"), my 9-year-old nephew and my dog, Chewbacca, have also received address labels from some charity or other. I, on the other hand, despite being PRE-APPROVED!!! for every major credit card (and some I've never even heard of), and despite being the recipient of what may be "Your Last Catalog!" from uncountable mail-order companies at least four or five times a week, AND despite having actually donated to various charities in the past, have never received any address labels of my own. I have to admit that Chewie doesn't send out much mail, so I have some extra ones, but I got a little bit tired of explaining about why my return address belonged to a Star Wars character, so I figured, Hey! I'll get my own! It started out pretty simply. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
6:01 am	Alas, Alas for you, Lawyers and Pharisees [Disclaimer: This is not an amusing and entertaining entry, but one I felt I had to write out of anger and sorrow. Feel free to skip. Additionally, this is one of those "if the shoe fits" sorts of things. I do understand that there do exist actual Christians. This letter is to the ones who seem to have forgotten what that means.] ( An open letter to 'Christians' ) And no, this doesn't mean that I don't still think LOLTheist.com is hilarious. ETA: Two theater-geek points for you if you can tell me where the title of this entry came from. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
6:20 am	Independence Day I wonder how many Americans know more than the first sentence of this part of our Declaration of Independence? ...We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. ... I wonder how many Americans will consider this the next time they vote? The full text is here. The list of abuses by King George III which prompted the American colonies to declare their independence is quite ... interesting. Happy 4th of July to all my American friends! (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 1st, 2007
10:03 am	Mmmmm....Sacrelicious.... This is just a brief followup to Thursday's post. I felt that the "LOLGODs" were too funny to languish, hidden, here in the comments of my blog, and so I sent them all over to www.LOLTheist.com. Feel free to join in. Submission email is on the "About" page over there. :-) ETA: If you like, you can also add loltheist to your friends list to see updates on LJ. w00t for RSS feeds! [/pimpage] (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 30th, 2007
8:54 am	Oh yeah -- the second funniest thing I forgot to post the second funniest thing I heard all day the other day. This one's for all the child-free, zero population growth, anti-baby folks, and I decided that it must -- MUST! -- be put on T-shirts, bumper stickers, and coffee mugs. "I took the battery out of my biological clock and put it in my vibrator." I don't know why, but this was, indeed, the second funniest thing I'd seen all day. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
5:21 am	My LOLGOD can beat up your LOLCAT If you have not yet discovered the wonder and awe-inspiring artistic endeavor that is LOLCats (many of which exist on I Can Has Cheezburger), you're either missing out or you have the sort of sense of humor that ... well ... generally misses out on such things. NOT that there's anything wrong with that. I understand that some otherwise perfectly normal and functional people don't find Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, or the 1970's/1980's Steve Martin humorous as well. While I feel a great sadness for all the laughter potential that such people miss, humor is, as they say, subjective, which is to say that that it is not verbive, or adjectiveive, or even participleive and so who's to say really what's funny or not (other than, perhaps, my fourth grade grammar teacher, but that's a little beside the point). ( And there IS a point in here -- oh yes. And it involves important discussions of such philosophical ... err ... important stuff like sin and cookies and Dick Cheney dressed as Wonder Woman (but no pictures of that last, I promise). ) ETA: There are now NSFW ... errr ... LOLGODs in the comments. Careful, folks. Not more than PG, but you know how some people are. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 18th, 2007
7:28 pm	My Husband, the Super-Villain Every one of us, while we may not realize its import, has a super-power. We each have some extraordinary talent that brings, for some, the amazement of friends and family, and for others, the amusement of people at cocktail parties. You've probably even witnessed some firsthand, like your cousin's ability to always get the parking space right by the door, or your aunt's ability to balance thirty-seven teacups on her head while singing "Carry me Back to Ol' Virginny" and performing an intricate bellydance after drinking most of the holiday rum punch at the family Christmas get-together. Now certainly, these super-powers, amazing and/or amusing as they may be are not the sorts of things that tend to show up in comic books. They're often not at all useful for law enforcement, kicking bad-guy ass, saving the planet, or other such flashy (and, let's face it, overrated) things. Rather, they are, for good or for evil, mutant talents that can affect all in their vicinity. My husband's super-power, or at least the one most widely famed, is the ability to find the most bizarre movies ever made. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 14th, 2007
4:14 pm	About yesterday Q: Why didn't you participate in BLITEOTW? A: I did. Q: Well, then, why don't I see a blog entry? A: It was the end of the world, and sadly, I got killed off by the zombies before I had a chance to blog about it. Q: Isn't that just a lame excuse for you not having the faintest idea about nor interest in BLITEOTW? A: It's called "method acting," you philistine! Q: Oh. Sorry. A: You SHOULD be! (Comment on this)
Friday, June 8th, 2007
6:59 pm	A Talking WHAT? Of course, at this point in my life, male genitalia enlargement spam is nothing new. I'm sure this is the case for anyone who's had an email address for longer than, say, 30 seconds (10 if you're on AOL). Most of it is trite, uninteresting, and completely without literary merit of any kind. But every once in awhile, every so often, I get one that has me rolling on the floor laughing, while being educational at the same time. Now, it should probably be pointed out here that I have a somewhat odd sense of humor. In fact, I've been known to laugh at things that other people don't even understand. (These are generally things I make up, and I couldn't even tell you why they should be funny.) So, with that said, I present you with the Best. Penis enlargement. Spam. EVER!!! ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
8:28 am	Greater Love Hath No Man I should probably mention in advance that this post may look like one of those jokes that starts out with "A horse walks into a bar" and then commences to go on for approximately three hours with a twisty, turny kind of tale-telling that makes you think it's building up for a fantastic punchline, but instead ends up with something like, "Don't be silly: horses don't drink beer" or similar. That said, let's give it a go, shall we? For this to make sense, I'll have to go back a bit and tell you something about my Dad. Dad donates to several charities as a matter of course. Because of this, he's on the List™ for potentially every non-profit or charitable group ever invented. Now, it used to be that the way charities would try to guilt you out of your cash was that they would send you a set of free address labels along with a note that said something on the order of, "The poor, blind, amputee three-year-olds who are starving in Upper Badhobbsia want you to have these address labels as their special gift to you. However, sending you these labels means that little Sudrika will not be able to eat for a month and will probably be beaten severely for such extravagance so we hope that you'll use one of them to stick on this envelope when you send your generous donation." ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
3:01 pm	Splashdown in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... It's really a bit sad when the most exciting thing going on in your life is watching your parents attempt to take off on a cruise. Then again, since I've been ill for the last couple of months, the second most exciting thing was attempting to seek out new veins for the nurses to stick another IV into in the hospital, so I suppose things could be worse. At any rate, I just got a call from Mom, who is now safely in Canada, along with Dad. There was a bit of an issue when Dad almost passed out, but they got him a wheelchair and after that, everything was fine. Now, before you say, "Oh my God, that poor man" or similar, I'd like to point out that embarking upon a cruise involves potentially several hours of standing in line, waiting around, filling out paperwork, and other unpleasant things. However, having a wheelchair kills the first altogether, cuts large gaping holes in the second, and lets you pretty much get on with the third without any of the aforementioned unpleasantness. Personally, I strongly feel that if Dad hadn't almost passed out, he (or Mom) certainly should have at least pretended to do so. I'm definitely making a note of this for my next cruise. A wave of a delicate fan, a dainty hand to the forehead, a bit of graceful almost-crumpling and POOF! No lines, no waiting! And now, after making the mistake of attempting All-You-Can-Eat Sushi while forgetting that I'm not quite up to the same "All" as I was before I started getting ill, I'm definitely crashing. Getting up at four AM isn't quite the same as staying up all night, but at the moment, it sure feels like it! :-) (Comment on this)
7:51 am	And ... it's a GO! Yesterday evening was a flurry of last-minute checks for Mom & Dad's Alaskan cruise. Passports? Check. Boarding passes? Check. Luggage tags? Check. Everything looked good. Mom had brought her birds over for me to look after, and I was feeling quite complacent about the whole thing. Suddenly, Mom came over to me and said in a low voice with a worried tone, "You will make sure your father gets up in time, won't you?" See, there always has to be a catch with these things. Just when everything's going smoothly, and you think, "Ah, yes, great, everything's ready to go, and they're off, and it's nothing to do with me," something like this happens. The taxi would be arriving at four fifteen AM. That meant that, assuming Dad had done all his packing the previous night (which he had assured me he would), he would have to be up and out of bed no later than four AM. (That's four-o-fucking-clock-in-the-freakin'-morning, for those of you watching at home who are insufficiently caffeinated at this time.) I think you see where I'm going with this. In order for me to be able to make sure that Dad was up at four AM, it meant that I would have to get up at quarter-to-four so that I could stumble down the stairs, blearily let the dog out, put a pot of coffee on, wait for it to finish, and then drink enough of it so that I would be able to say something coherent like, "Hey, Dad, time to get up" instead of (as would be the case pre-coffee at four AM) something like, "Bluh GAH in feister RUNAMUCKIN ... huh?" ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
6:38 am	There's something fishy about that meme ... 103.141592% Geek (Comment on this)
Monday, May 28th, 2007
1:33 pm	Remembrance A link, because I don't think I could say this any better now than I did last year at this time. May whatever gods there be bless the families of the fallen and bring the living safely home. (Comment on this)
8:21 am	Religion vs. Fanfic This comic delivers. Continued in this one. Safe for work when last I looked. I laughed! I cried! I shot coffee out my nose! (Sorry, video not available.) (via siliconshaman.) (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 19th, 2007
10:43 am	One Cruise, to go, Hold the Passport: The stunning conclusion After all the trials and tribulations Dad went through to get his passport, I had to admit to some trepidations after he sent it off to AmericanPassport.com. Unfortunately for the blog (but fortunately for Dad), it came in the mail a few days after he'd sent off the final application. It had his name correctly. It had his picture. It was even the correct color. I, for one, am a bit miffed with AmericanPassport.com for being so efficient. They have ruined, that's right, RUINED what was turning into an epic saga of tragedy and woe. I mean, they could have lost his paperwork, or misread the application so that his name wasn't correct on the final passport or something, but NO. A couple of days, and poof! Here's your passport. Bastards. So, I know that it's a bit of an anticlimax, but it looks like Dad will be allowed to spend about an hour in the exotic foreign country of Canada on his way to his Alaskan cruise despite all the slings and arrows of outrageous Homeland Security. And we all lived happily ever after. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
4:03 pm	Interlude: Guns don't kill people -- but my Dad might. Apparently, there is still something to be done at the Post Office passport office before Dad can do the AmericanPassport.com thing. This morning, he stuck his head inside my office, and said simply, "I'm going to the passport place. Pray for me." I made the sign of the cross, intoning, "Bless you, my son." And he went away. No news as of yet on the passport front. In other news, some genius decided that in the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings, it would be a good idea to deputize professors at the university here (of which Dad is one) to carry firearms so that they could nip such impolite behavior in the proverbial bud in future. When Dad got home, he went straight to Charlie and asked him if he could get some gun training. Of course, Charlie was completely amenable to that, and even helped Dad pick out his new gun: the Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum. "Did you check out the bullet pictures?" Dad chortled with glee. "There was this tiny little .357 Magnum bullet and then this ARTILLERY SHELL!" He stood there for a few moments pantomiming the classic Western quick-draw, twirl the guns, and holster them movement. "I bet this will really improve my chances of promotion next year," he mused. I understand the deputizing proposal is being brought to the Faculty Senate soon, and that the university Chancellor thinks it's a great idea. Non-Dad-related, but on the topic of firearms, Charlie found out that there's going to be a gun show at one of the local casinos this weekend, but in remembrance of the Virginia Tech shootings, none of the vendors will actually be allowed to HAVE any guns at the show. Um ... I think I can let that speak for itself, other than adding Charlie's comment which was, "So, basically, it's going to be a crafts and beef jerky show." Yes. I think that sums it up. -- ETA: Lest you think I was making it up, here's a letter from one of the vendors for the "gun show". He doesn't sound happy, if you can imagine that. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
8:17 am	Via the father-in-law... You all know I don't generally post quizzes or memes, but just this once ... Best. Quiz. EVER. (SFW: no sound, no images.) (Comment on this)